Start Leading With Yourself
Hope you are enjoying the long weekend. The weather has been great and honestly, somewhere between the burgers and the backyard I figured I would take a few minutes to write my Monday message to you all.
So here we go.
Last week I was at Realtor Quest and the keynote speaker was Michelle Obama. And before you say anything, this is not political. Not even close. But what she said about connecting with people resonated with me because it applies directly to what we do every single day.
She said something along the lines of: You do not connect with people by coming in on your high horse and rattling off your resume and talking about your degrees and your titles and your awards. That does not connect you to people.
She talked about the power of shared values, genuine understanding, and what she called the storytelling of life as the common thread that brings people together. And then she said something that I have not stopped thinking about since.
When you talk to people, not down to people, everyone’s shoulders relax. And they think “I can see myself in your story.”
Inauthenticity is impossible to hide. People sniff right through it.
Your clients are exactly the same. A polished listing presentation or a perfectly curated social media feed does not fool anyone.
Now here is why this hit so close to home.
On Friday I ran a live masterclass on circle prospecting. We role played, we worked through the resistance that comes up when you are standing at a stranger’s door or picking up the phone to call someone who is not expecting to hear from you.
And the agents who struggled were not struggling because of their scripts. They were struggling because they were performing instead of connecting.
The days of the pushy salesperson are gone. Nobody wants that and frankly it does not work. What does work is empathy. Curiosity. Showing up as a real person who genuinely wants to understand what someone is going through, not as an agent trying to land a listing before they get back to their car.
When you lead with your humanity, everything changes. The conversation opens up. The walls come down. And people start to trust you, not because of what you have accomplished, but because of how you made them feel.
That is the skill worth building.
Your action items this week:
- Before your next prospecting call or door knock, ditch the pitch and write down two or three genuine questions you can ask that have nothing to do with selling. Be curious about the person first.
- Look at your last five social media posts or your listing presentation. Ask yourself honestly: does this sound like a real person and if not, adjust accordingly.
- Practice the follow up. Most agents stop after one attempt and wonder why nothing sticks. Commit to following up at least three to five times with every new contact you make this week. Connection rarely happens on the first try.
People do not hire the most impressive agent. They hire the one they felt understood by.
Talk soon. And enjoy the rest of the long weekend.