I had the pleasure (NOT) of meeting the CEO of a Canadian equity trading company tonight. Let’s call him Peter the a**hole. Apparently his company was recently ranked somewhere up top in Profit magazine’s “Profit 100” in 2004 — an annual ranking of the country’s fastest growing companies.

I would describe him in one word: “Dickhead”. A plain asshole as far as I am concerned. Apparently you don’t need brains to be the CEO of one of the fastest growing companies. Nothing he said made any intellectual sense. He was very rude and arrogant, and trust me; I’m usually a very calm and humble when I meet such big shots. Anyway,

When the body was first created, all the body parts wanted to be the boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control all of the body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.”

The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of The Story: You don’t need a brain to be a Boss — any asshole will do.

I am a manager, and I know many managers. There are so many bad bosses out there giving us good managers a bad name :-). I wish someone would create a mandatory ISO like ranking system / standard for bosses that employees would rank annually. This way we know who’s what and ranks where. Hey, that’s not such a bad idea. So let it be written, so let it be done.