He’s a few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box. His wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl. One taco short of a combination plate. A few feathers short of a whole duck. All foam, no beer. The cheese slid off his cracker. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Chimney’s clogged. He doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. He forgot to pay his brain bill. His sewing machine’s out of thread. His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops. If he had another brain it would be lonely. He’s missing a few buttons on his remote control. No grain in the silo. Proof that evolution “can” go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Several nuts short of a full pouch. Skylight leaks a little. Slinky’s kinked. Surfing in Nebraska. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. The lights are on, but nobody’s home. 24 cents short of a quarter.

What does this all mean? Simple,  he is lacking intellectual acuity!

Taking a look around us, it is easy to spot dull stupid fatuous people.  They are better known as jerks, and  are like roaches — there is never just one.

He or she is an intrusive, backstabbing, interrupting, monopolizing, bragging, paranoid, two-faced, intimidating, and SARCASTIC. Everyone is given a jerk just like a guardian angel. Instead of protecting you however, the jerk builds your character.  They come in all shapes and sizes, so there are no actual physical characteristics to spot. You can however tell by their behavior what they are made of. They tend to talk loudly, lie to make themselves look good and others bad, take credit for others’ hard work, are inflexible when working with others, and talk nice, but sarcastically.

If you see your prospective jerk doing two or three of the things above, you are dealing with a certifiable, authentic jerk.

There are many things you can to create a civilized workplace and get along with jerks, but best thing to do is to drop the jerk and move on. The real reason to forgive is to prevent your own anger from hurting you emotionally and physically. Built up anger is likely to cause more trouble for the angered than the target of the anger. Forget about the roach, and let’s move on.